Ruth Tarrant
~ Providing Mental Health
& Trauma Care Since 1994
Ruth Tarrant
~ Providing Mental Health
& Trauma Care Since 1994
Mental Fitness
~ a life skill worth working for ~
Coping Skills
Not a thinking skill; not an emotion skill.
Coping is all about, and only about being.
The skill of being with the truth of the matter without succumbing to it's awfulness.
Grief
When something is lost, stolen or missing.
Things seem dire, sadness constant, thoughts recycle again and again. Speak them. Pour a cuppa and articulate the enormity of it all. Tell the trees, tell the clouds. Tell the memories. Finish your cuppa and set it aside again, ready for tomorrow's memory cuppa.
Some things can't be replaced. People can't be replaced. Dream opportunities can't be replaced. Exploring what's coming next helps. Being open to newness helps. Honouring and staying with the memories helps. Delve into both as you're able. Schedule time for memories and honouring that which is no longer. Spend time allowing the future to arrive in all it's beauty. The mystery of the future is beckoning.
...it's not about denial.... it's not about repressing
Coping requires us to centre, to ground, to stay observant, noticing what is, noticing what is not. A certain sense of distance that allows us to observe without getting dragged down into the awfulness. It's ok to fall apart for a while to express and release that awfulness.
Perspective taking skills
same diamond, different facets
...perspective...
to explore alternate ideas, alternate ways of doing or being; to explore your own self, explore how to accept or understand another's stance on this same thing
It's ok to fall apart for a while to express and release that awfulness. It's also ok to then regather our centered self and observe from a certain sense of distance before being dragged down into the awfulness again. Things go back and forth like this for a while until the centered self has freed itself, regains a firmer base, a firmer sense of okness.
Differences add value and beauty to our lives, being the same isn't always honest, isn't always desirable, isn't always helpful.
Different; not more, not less
Accepting each other's idiosyncrasies and preferences leads to stronger togetherness, more capacity for loving, enables more space to live from. We don't have to love and accept everyone; we do have to discern what's ok in our own lives and what's not.
Different, sometimes much more, sometimes much less.
Coping with that awfulness is about being, not thinking, not emoting, just being. Eventually it becomes easier to just be, to just be with reality of what's happened, moving forward despite it all.
Personal Boundaries
Understanding what's ok for you and what's not. Breathe into that knowing; breathe out what - and who - no longer fits.
Appreciating the beauty in all of life helps balance things out. None of us are everything for all people, all circumstances. And that's ok.
~ A Nod To The Past; Firmly Focused On The Future ~
Over 45,000 hrs clinical experience in mental health + 8,500 hrs tertiary level education, mostly in mental healthcare
Masters Degree focused on PTSD & Secondary Trauma Responses